Does Our Use Of Social Media Matter?

Hey guys! I hope you’ve been well :)

How about we talk about social media for a sec (or rather for the length of time it will take you to read through this post entirely, and if you do, thanks in advance :))?

So, we live in a super digital age and social media is a tool that is used by pretty much everyone with a smartphone. Keep in mind, social media isn’t just the WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. It also includes e-mailing apps like google or career apps like LinkedIn.

Social Media has definitely had some positive effects. For instance, connecting people from all over the world, people are able to make a living via their businesses online, I personally, I am even able to connect with y’all via social media platforms. Plus so many others.

It also has some cons, of which I will get into as I write this post.

Also note, the main aim of this post is not to bash social media. I credit it for giving me an avenue to connect with y’all via this blog and my other socials, but just to inform and share the things that I have learnt, so we can use it for good, and in a wise way, other than having it consume our lives. So that we don’t abandon our REAL lives trading it for the virtual online life.

Now, since social media plays such a huge role in our lives today, shouldn’t we dig deep and ask ourselves some questions? Does it matter how we use it?

Let’s explore that;

The Social Dilemma

There is a documentary on Netflix called The Social Dilemma that I watched some months ago. They had it on YouTube for some time, but it’s currently not there anymore, just on Netflix. If you have a subscription (or using someone else’s account like me ;)) I’d recommend you spare some time and watch it. It is very eye-opening, kinda scary honestly. The scariness is due to how spot on it is in describing today’s society and people’s social media habits.

Basically, former executives, CEOs, presidents and founders of today’s existing social media apps come forward to talk about how they create these apps, not necessarily the technical stuff, but what the aim is when creating these apps.

In the doc, they also show a typical family. Dad, Mum, two girls and a boy, and how social media has not only affected how they view themselves individually, but even their daily dynamics as a family, like spending quality time at the dinner table instead of having conversation, everyone is on their screens. Sound familiar?

The documentary goes on to further show that the aim of these social media platforms, using AI (Artificial Intelligence) and Algorithms, is for advertisement, growth and engagement. You as the user, are the product and the success of the platform depends on how much time you, the user spends on these platforms. They wanna keep you there for as long as possible.

Now, there is a part where it shows the three aims (advertisement, growth and engagement) as three different people. The user is a guy, and the more that this guy uses social media, the three people track his movements, his habits, what he likes, dislikes, whom he follows, what he shops for online etc. until a complete image of the guy is formed. Now, they have an idea of who this guy is as a person. The next step is using AI and the algorithm to constantly make the content that this guy is likely to watch, always in his feed so that he can spend more time on the social media platforms.

That’s why at times, and I know there are many memes about this, but have you ever thought of buying something, you searched it on google, then when you go to your Facebook or Instagram, you see someone or a business advertising that thing you were looking for. Coincidence? I tend to not think so. All that we do online is actually being watched y’all. Scary but true. That’s why there are pages like ‘recommended for you’. Recommended by whom? By the platform because they know what content will keep you there the longest.

The doc also goes in-depth to show how social media has been linked to increasing cases of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and comparison.

I took some notes and I’d like to share. These have been paraphrased;

There is a link between the effects drugs have and social media has on the human brain. Both, stimulate the production of dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that controls the movements a person makes and their emotional responses. High levels of it leads to feelings of bliss, euphoria and pleasure.

People have had their thinking modified, to equate their worth and value to likes, thumbs up, views and online approval.

So, our minds have been conditioned in a way that whenever we experience negative emotions, we find comfort in our digital devices.

Now, we have a generation of anxious, depressed people who take less risks, experience more isolation and loneliness, and are less likely to go on romantic dates.

In the long term, we have less control, we know ourselves less and don’t know what we believe in anymore.

A scene in the documentary that kinda broke my heart; see the family in the documentary, they made a rule to not have their phones while having dinner, so the mum put all their phones in a glass jar. During the dinner, it was so awkward and hard to make conversation, because they were so used to having their devices. After a while, their youngest daughter couldn’t take it anymore, so she broke the glass jar just so she could get her phone and ran upstairs.

In another scene, she takes a selfie and uploads it, and waits eagerly to see how many likes she’d get. Instead, someone comments about her ears, like they stick out or are too big. She goes to the mirror and stares at herself. She begins to see that ‘oh wow, my ears are big’ and now she begins to cover her ears with her hair. Now, it’s an insecurity for her.

Lemme confess. When I was in High school, I had really low self-esteem and would never say that I was pretty. In school, there were girls I used to look at and wish I was pretty like them. They were not only pretty, but were also popular and had thousands of followers on their social media. For me, no matter what I did, I just would never get to their level. There were times when I would do my best with makeup and filters to get the perfect selfie. I would upload it at night, so that when I woke up I would see how many likes I had accumulated. If the post didn’t get as many likes as I wanted, I would delete. I had allowed social media to dictate how I felt about myself. For me, less likes meant I’m not pretty enough.

Thank God! I don’t think or move like that no more. It’s actually the reason why I wrestled with God about this blog idea and Him instructing me to be more active on the socials to share my gifts, for His glory. I always thought I wasn’t a ‘social mediary’ person. I am still a work in progress but I’m glad that God created a way for me to utilize this platform and others, to share the gospel, talk about issues like these that affect our society today and fun stuff like skincare routines! Also, these days I don’t care much about likes, and rarely check how many likes I get, unless to track growth, engagement and which content you guys enjoy the most from me, so that I can improve and serve better.

I don’t want this post to end on a sad note. Truth is, social media ain’t going anywhere anytime soon. It’s part of our lives now. Despite the cons, there are ways we can navigate through it to ensure we still stay ourselves, guard our hearts and actually enjoy being on them. Here are some quick tips;

1. You have freedom on who to follow, unfollow or block

Imagine you do! Think of your feed or page as your room/house. Would you allow just anyone to enter your house or even bedroom? No way! Know that anything you view, feeds into your mind and has an effect/influence on you. If there’s someone you follow and following them makes you feel insecure or just has a negative effect on you, unfollow. Silently, respectfully and with class. You don’t have to send them a DM saying why, or even worse being a troll (don’t be a troll btw, it’s not cute lol).

Speaking of trolls, if someone is trolling you, like bullying and being mean to you online for no reason, don’t hesitate to block and even report. In the famous words of Skai Jackson ‘don’t be afraid to use that block button,mmhmm’

2. Nobody’s life is perfect

You see the graduation, but you don’t see the countless hours of studying, you see the successful business, but you don’t see the financial struggles and stress, you see the cute engagement proposal pictures, but you don’t see the work that goes into the relationship.

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again, what people show online is just a highlight reel and just a tiny glimpse of their lives. We live in a fallen and broken world, and really messed up things happen to all of us. Just because someone doesn’t show it, doesn’t mean they’re immune to struggles and hard times.

So guard your heart and stop comparing yourself with others. Enjoy the highlights and clap for people when you see their successes, but just keep it in the back of your mind that it’s just a highlight reel.

Also, don’t feel pressure to document everything and share everything. I think it’s wise to have privacy and discretion.

3. Take breaks

In the documentary, the former executives, founders and CEOs even admit to getting addicted to the platforms they created at some point. That’s interesting! Lol! Some of them also say they don't allow their kids to use social media...

And I know we have all been there. It is wise, super helpful and refreshing to take breaks from the socials for a while. At times it may be just for a few hours, a whole week, a whole month, whatever you may need.

We consume so much and know pretty much everything that is happening in everyone’s lives, at times except our own.

Make it a priority to take breaks, rest, live your real life and watch your anxiety levels reduce and even your self-esteem and mental health soar.

4. Numbers do not validate you

Whether you get two or two thousand likes or have 20 or 20k followers, life goes on right? It’s nice to grow organically, honestly and authentically, because at the end of the day, those numbers are actually real people (minus bots and fake accounts) who are under your influence. It’s nice to know that people like to listen to you and your content has helped them in one way or another, but it’s so freeing for your validation, self-esteem and happiness not to be tied to the numbers. What happens when you lose followers, get less engagement or less likes?

Will you stop showing up for your business? Will you stop creating content? Will you stop exercising your gifts that God has blessed you with?

There is a higher purpose than just accumulating numbers, at the end of the day, if you use your social media for a higher cause than just to socialize and connect, the main thing is the value that you bring to people’s lives, that I think is what matters, above the numbers.

So, does how we use social media matter? I conclude that YES. It does. It has such a huge influence on how we see ourselves, treat each other and just do life. Inasmuch as the cons may sometime outweigh the pros, and so much crazy stuff happens online, when we put up healthy boundaries and practices in our social media use, we will be ok. :)

Wueh! That’s the end of today’s post. I really hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and have learnt something. I enjoyed writing this one since social media is such an interesting topic. We can keep the convo going! Feel free to reach out on the socials, or even shoot me an e-mail.

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If you’ve reached the end, Thank you! I’ll see you on the next one :)

Xoxo

BK.