We've all had a visit from the green-eyed monster. Here are some tips to ensure it doesn't stay around for too long.
Heeey!
Welcome to yet another blog post! Today I will be sharing five ways through which you can stop being jealous of your family or friends.
Jealousy is a human emotion that occurs when we see what someone has, and want it for ourselves. We can be jealous of what someone possesses materially, or even their personality or character.
It’s usually an uncomfortable feeling. It can even get dangerous. I am sure we’ve seen and heard of stories whereby a person took the life of another just because of jealousy. That won’t be you or me. We’ll figure out how to conquer this thing, starting with the tips I will share in this post.
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1. It’s much more than just jealousy
I discovered that at the core of jealousy, there could be three things happening within. These are what I think they are;
a) Discontentment – You are dissatisfied with what you have. So, you want what the other person has, thinking that it will satisfy you.
b) Helplessness – It seems like other people easily get what you’ve worked hard for. You wonder what it is you are doing wrong. Why don’t you have what they have, yet you’ve done everything in your power?
c) Disappointment – you ticked every box, thinking you’d finally achieve what you want. But, it doesn’t happen. So, you’re disappointed in yourself. It cuts even deeper when another person follows the same formula you did and ends up succeeding.
To get over the jealousy, you will need to get through to what it is you truly feel. Is it discontentment, helplessness, or disappointment? Also, note that these feelings are usually within you, they’re rarely about the other person. Find the root, take your eyes off of the other person, and focus on getting on the path to healing.
2. Be honest
When we can truthfully name what it is we’re feeling, we’re on the right path toward overcoming these strong emotions. The Bible was right (as it always is), that the truth does indeed set you free. When you are jealous, it is better to admit it to yourself, instead of living in denial.
If you pretend it’s not there, it will just fester, and grow into something that you don’t want it to grow into. God knows it, your body knows and will even show it by how you react when that person you’re jealous of is around you, you even know it but you’re still living in denial.
So, own up, talk about it, and put it out there, so that you can deal with it accordingly.
3. Create space to process
So, when you’re going through something like this, I suggest extending grace to yourself and being patient with yourself. Because let’s be honest, it hurts when someone seems to have everything you’ve always wanted.
This is what I think creating space to process jealousy can look like;
-if you’re brave enough, admit it to the person that you’re jealous of. Remember, we just talked about being honest. If you don’t want to or can’t do this, admit it to yourself first, then maybe talk to someone about it, like a trusted friend or mentor.
- if their social media posts make those feelings come up, mute, or unfollow, at least for a period of time.
- get to the root of what it is that’s causing you to be jealous.
Is it discontentment? Count your blessings. You have way more than you think you do.
Is it helplessness? Ask for help from others, instead of trying it all on your own.
Is it disappointment? It happens to us all. Feel what you need to feel. But after you’re done, pick yourself up and try again.
4. Remember, blessings come at a cost
Before you get jealous of someone, or even when working through feelings of jealousy, I want you to remember something.
The blessings you see, come at a cost.
People will always talk about the glory, but will rarely talk about the story that birthed the glory.
You never know the struggles, hardships, and toiling that a person may have had to overcome to get to where they are.
You never know what price they are paying now, even in their success.
If you had what you are jealous of them having, would you be able to handle it? Would you have the right capacity built to maintain it? Will you be strong enough to carry it? Cause blessings come at a cost, they come with weight and responsibility.
Will you be able to bear it?
5. Remember, God is not stingy
God is generous and more than willing to give. We just need to know that which He has uniquely designed just for us to lay hold of, and focus on that.
When you see someone having something that you deeply and genuinely desire, it should not lead you to be jealous. Jealousy demonstrates an area of unbelief in our hearts, whereby we don’t believe that God can do it for us too.
God can do it for you, maybe even more than what you’re jealous of. So, when you see someone win in an area that you want to win in as well, celebrate them, genuinely. And until your time comes, keep celebrating, keep clapping for them, genuinely. God is not stingy. Your time will come.
Alright, that is it for today’s blog post. I genuinely hope that it has impacted you, encouraged you, taught you a thing or two, and so forth. Thank you so much for reading through, and I will see you on the next one!
Xoxo
BK.
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