Hey Hey there! I know I know it's been A WHILE. I haven’t posted here for more than a month! I had exams and preparing for them consumed much of my time and head space. I feel like the logical part of my brain had to be on, and I had to tune down the creative part, just for a little bit😅. Exams are over now, and I am so excited to be back to writing!
I want to finish this year strong!
Today, I will be sharing four signs that may signify the end of a friendship. Despite my youth, I have had friends walk in and out of my life, as I have in their lives. This is completely normal as life changes, so do the people around you. From a friendship feeling one-sided to being misaligned, here are four signs a friendship is about to end.
1. Their presence causes more anxiety than peace
The next time you are with your friend/friends, I want you to pay close attention to how your body reacts around them. Do you feel a sense of calm, like you can put your guard down and be yourself unapologetically? Or do you feel tense, insecure, judged, and nitpicked? I have realized that most times, your body picks up on things before your mind does, especially when it comes to the people you surround yourself with. If you are constantly feeling anxious and fearful when you have to see that friend, or your heart palpitates every time you see them calling you, it may be time to end things or create some distance. Life already has enough stressors, don’t let a so-called friend be a contributor to it.
2. They constantly violate your boundaries
If you’ve read some of my past blog posts, you know I have spoken about boundaries a lot, and I am PRO-boundaries. Boundaries keep you and the other person safe. Having boundaries creates a conducive environment for a friendship to flourish, as long as each party respects them. If you have mentioned to a friend that you are not comfortable with something they do around you, and they still keep doing it, then that means they don’t care about the friendship enough to adjust their behavior around you, as you have requested. It may be time to call it quits if this keeps happening.
3. It feels one-sided
As I have grown older, I have realized that friendships need investment from both sides to work. Both parties need to be invested and want the friendship to last. It’s a heavy burden to be the only one in the friendship investing in it. Let’s say you are the only one calling, texting, and suggesting to meet up, and the other person is just…there. To get a clear picture of where you stand in such a friendship, I recommend first trying to have a conversation by expressing your concerns. Life gets busy for everyone and your friend may be going through a lot, that may be causing them to act as they are. If this doesn’t work, try distancing yourself and investing less and less, and observe. If the friendship dies when you stop investing, you will realize that you were the only one keeping it alive.
4. You are both misaligned
One inevitable thing that’s bound to happen in life, is change. Not only do things change, but people change too. Something that can cause a friendship to break is when you or the other person changes, especially when the change that takes place involves fundamental values. For example, religion. Let’s say you and a friend started as devout Christians, but your friend loses their path along the way and you can see that their lifestyle has changed to be completely different from yours. Such an occurrence may mean the end of a friendship entirely, or y’all need to be separated for a season. Two can’t walk together unless they agree. If you struggle to agree with someone on fundamental beliefs and values that you hold dear, doing life together in friendship can be difficult.
At the end of it all, I do not recommend ending friendships entirely at the first instance of difficult moments. I recommend at least trying to work through hard stuff before making permanent decisions. Also, if you want quality friendships, start by being a quality friend.
Alright, that’s all I have for you today. I hope you have enjoyed this post and learned something.
Remember to like, comment, and most importantly, share this post so others can learn too.
Thanks for being here and I will see you on the next one!
Xoxo,
Miss Kambe.
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