As 2022 comes to an end, here are the lessons I have learned along the way.
Is it just me, or did this year just flow by? I can’t believe 2022 is over. For me, this year came with some great victories and unforeseen detours and bumps. Regardless, I am grateful that I am here, and I am also grateful that YOU are here. God gave us life all through the year, that’s favor :).
Anyway, I wrote this post to share with you some of the lessons I have learned this year and I hope they will resonate with you and you will come out of this post feeling enlightened, grateful, and inspired.
Remember to like, comment, and share this post with anyone who needs it. Also, remember to subscribe to be part of my e-mail list. You will see the subscription box at the bottom of this page, so that means you’ll have to stick around until the end to reach there ;). Okay, let’s begin.
1. Adulting is HARD
One of the unforeseen detours I encountered this year was realizing just how hard adulting can be. I was not ready, like at all. I thought being an adult would be cool and fun, which it is sometimes, but that freedom comes with responsibility, and the fact that I’ll have to do this all my life already tires me out. I’ve learned that it’s hard because I am a beginner at this. Think about it, you and I have never been adults in our lives, and I’m speaking to y’all 20-somethings reading this. We’ve never done this before, so the fear, anxiety, overthinking everything and all the struggles are a normal part of the process. So, extend grace to yourself and allow yourself to be a beginner. I honestly don’t know if it gets easier, maybe it does. But for now, I will be honest, it’s hard.
2. NEVER take your mental health for granted
This one’s a bit heavy for me to talk about because I don’t think I have ever struggled mentally this year than ever in my entire life. When I was in the deep trenches, it was like everything stopped. I stopped taking care of myself, my relationships, and even my chores. Doing the basic things just felt so arduous and I wondered how I got it all done in the past. Be grateful when you’re doing well mentally, or at least well enough to function and get done what needs to be done. I took it for granted but never again. I had to learn to live life bit by bit, taking it one day at a time. It takes incredible patience to do this because it feels like you’re staring from zero. But, it’s worth it, I promise. Also, if you are struggling, just know it gets better. One day at a time, okay?
This is what life looks like sometimes 👇🏾 Due to struggling mentally, I just didn't have the energy to keep up with the basic life stuff, you know, like chores.
3. Allow yourself to change/grow/evolve
Why? Because different seasons in life will force us to be different versions of ourselves. Don’t fear change, it may be the thing that you need. I know we love the familiar and the routine, but life is full of change, and the changes will need YOU to change, so just allow it to happen.
4. Read your bible!!!
Don’t depend on your pastor, leader, mentor, or even parent wholly to teach you about God. Read the bible yourself and watch it transform you from the inside out. In fact, don’t just read it, study it. Look up different versions of your favorite verses, you can even look at commentaries so that you can get the true meaning. You can even type out a verse on your google search and search for what it means. The scriptures have spoken life to me in ways nothing and no one else ever has. Even when everything around me seems to be falling apart, God’s word stays solid and is a place I can always run to for answers. If you truly want to understand life, read your bible.
5. The older you get, the more you will understand your parents
This one’s spicy, let me tell you what I mean. The first thing we talked about was how adulting is hard. Imagine adulting plus being someone’s spouse and KIDS. Now, that’s hard. When I was younger, I remember at times getting so agitated and frustrated with my parents, but as I’ve grown up and matured, I can look at those situations from a more logical and reasonable standpoint, as opposed to an emotional standpoint. We, in this generation, are so lucky to have access to the information that our parents didn’t have. We have an abundance of information on trauma, relationships, therapy, etc. Our parents had none of that, the only blueprint to parenting was how they were parented, which they thought was best even though it was not, so they simply parented us how they were parented. You get me? It’s okay to at times have some tension with your parents, things can get very messy. This doesn’t excuse the things that may have happened, but, the past is gone, whatever happened is not your fault, but you have the responsibility to do the work of healing and breaking patterns you don’t want to see in the next generation. I have promised myself to not repeat some of the things I experienced growing up, are you with me? Our children will have it better, deal?
6. Most, if not all our relationship problems would be solved by clear communication
And, people who are willing to listen and understand one another. It’s one thing to talk about things, it’s another to listen to understand instead of hearing just to respond. Anyway, my point here is, to talk to that person. Yes, the one that just crossed your mind right now. Maybe the relationship won’t rekindle ever, or not now, but your conscience will be clear having been the one to try to mend things.
7. Seriously, what is chocolate ice cream?
I’m gonna say it, chocolate ice cream is a no-no. Okay, except for the one with a chocolate exterior and ice cream inside like this one. But plain chocolate ice cream? Yuck!
8. Put action behind your faith
There’s this clip/audio that’s quite popular of Kerry Washington, aka Olivia Pope, saying something like ‘Pray to catch the bus but also run hard after the bus’. I am all about prayer, speaking life into situations, and trusting God. Faith works and is accelerated by actions. Do you have faith that you’ll get a job? Ensure you get your CV and documents ready, educate yourself on your industry, also, actually put yourself out there by applying. Believing God for a partner? Get out of the house and meet people. See, action behind your faith :).
9. Don’t be too quick to get to the ‘bounce back’ part of your story, learn to feel, sit, and process.
This is something that I had to learn to do this year. We all love a good bounce-back or redemption story, I know I do. But people often skip the parts when they never wanted to bounce back, when they wanted to give up on everything, when nothing made sense anymore. I think all of us have had such moments. Instead of wanting to rush past such moments, pause, sit, and breathe. What you learn in those moments is going to help you when you reach the ‘bounce back’ part and even beyond.
10. Read books, not only for educational purposes but also for leisure
I looove books! All kinds of books. At times I tend to get so focused on reading the self-help/ ‘serious’ books, but it’s totally fine to get your hands on a good fictional story. It offers a sense of healthy escapism from the sometimes-harsh realities of the real world. And remember our first point on how hard adulting can be? Well, maybe you just need to get your mind off of it for some time and get lost in a good book.
11. The lessons that stick with you are the ones you learn in the trenches
I don’t know about you, but for me, the lessons that stick with me are the ones that I learn during a tough season. It’s hard to learn something significant when everything’s going well. We grow and learn the most through the tough seasons we survive. And the best part is, we get to carry those lessons into future seasons.
12. Failure is a part of life, doesn’t mean you should quit at all
In fact, failure is a great indication that you are actually trying instead of sitting there and doing nothing. Change your perspective of failure by seeing it as data. Like, ‘Okay so I tried this thing and it failed, what areas could I have done better, what areas could I have changed, or maybe I should just give it up entirely and try something else?’ Remember, for most things it takes many tries for it to succeed.
13. Start taking care of your body, as soon as possible
Take advantage of your youth, and instead of excessively filling yourself up with junk food, or lying around all day with little to no activity, be intentional and start taking care of your body by eating mostly healthy foods and having a more active life. You don’t have to go overboard, start slowly by slowly until it becomes a habit. Your older self will thank you, I promise.
14. Surrender your life to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
He is the bread of life, He is the way, the truth, and the life. To find true joy and fulfillment in this life, you need Christ. You may be wondering, ‘ok, but how do I surrender my life to Him?’ Well, wonder no more, about a year ago I did this post on how to have a relationship with God. Please, check it out.
15. Part of maturing includes accepting uncomfortable truths, that’s how you grow
The truth will set you free, but it may wound you first. How that has looked for me, is in how I have grown in my relationship with God this year. I have chosen to be a seeker of The Truth and a student of God’s word but to be completely honest, I at times wrestle with some things I see in the Bible. Like, ‘Lord, are you suuuureee about this?’ lol. But the same Bible reminds me in 2nd Timothy 3:16, that ALL scripture is God-breathed, meaning the people who wrote it were inspired by God, and therefore these words are basically full of God. That would mean, they are full of truth, holiness, and righteousness. But, it’s better to wrestle with the truth than find false delight in lies. It will be uncomfortable, but you will grow.
16. Your gift will make room for you
I’ve seen this a lot this year. If you have been part of my e-mail list, some months ago I sent an e-mail titled, ‘your gift will make room for you’ and I was just encouraging you to walk in your gift and the opportunities will come knocking. If you don’t know what your gift is, ask God. Ask Him to show you and boldly and faithfully steward the gifts He’s given you.
17. It’s not the end of the world if you’re unable to keep up with your chores
My, oh, my, haven’t I learned this this year! Typically I am, or at least I was that girl who always kept up with everything, including her chores. This year though, well, you’ve seen the picture of my overflowing laundry basket in lesson #2. I did eventually get around to doing them, and I’m not saying that you don’t take care of your space and become a slob, I’m just saying, relax a little, relax your shoulders, and unclench your fists. Even when you are unable to perfectly keep up with everything, it’s not the end of the world. You will be fine, trust me, I have lived it.
18. In the end, everything always ends up working out
The things you worry about today are much more significant than the things you worried about last year. Last year’s worries don’t matter as much. Why? Because it all ended up working out. So, breathe, it will work out. It will be okay. You will be okay.
19. There’s no shame in asking for help or delegating your tasks
We independent girls need to take a chill pill at times and just ask for help and delegate. Seriously. You won’t get brownie points for doing everything on your own. You’ll just get burn out with a side of resentment.
20. The way you process things, is personal. Just don’t suppress
When it comes to processing those hard feelings, everyone has their own way of doing it, and as long as it’s not toxic or dangerous, I think we should respect one another in that regard. Make space for yourself and others to process things as they need to. It’s better to process than suppress.
21. Love rejoices with the truth
1st Corinthians 13 from verse 4 talks extensively about love. Love is patient, love is kind, it doesn’t envy, etc. I constantly overlooked verse 6, ‘Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.’ But now it bears a strong witness to my spirit. Has anyone ever done something to you that’s purely evil and labeled it as love? More so someone who should love you and does something evil to you? Well, I’m here to tell you it's not love, it may be something else, but that’s not love.
22. Don’t be too quick to jump on a mass bandwagon, do your research, get the solid facts, then make a judgment
This year, as I have become older, I have grown a bit suspicious when many public figures are standing behind a certain trend or cause. In this age of social media, news spreads so fast and people are quick to react. It may be shock, uproar, outrage, sympathy, or happiness. But I am here to encourage you, the next time you see something trending, instead of rushing to repost or give your opinion about it, take your time, there’s no rush. Do a little digging from credible sources. Then, based on the factual information collected, make your judgment. You don’t have to repost everything or talk about everything that’s happening, it’s not a must. And, you don’t have to force other people that you know personally to say something.
All right, those are the 22 lessons that I have learned this year. It’s been a wild year and I’m grateful for the lessons learned. I pray that the rest of your year and even next year may be filled with God’s blessings and favor. I hope you enjoyed this post!
Remember to like, share and even comment on the biggest lesson you learned this year. I would love to hear from you! May you have a nice holiday, and I leave you with the best wishes for 2023! I hope we’ll see each other there :).
Xoxo,
BK.
Comments