It’s been a while since I was here, but I am so glad to be back!
You know by now in this space we care for ourselves, mind, body, and spirit. Today, we will learn how to better manage our mental health.
I have seven unique ways! Let’s jump right in!
1. Making your needs known
You have needs, I have needs. And I’m not just talking about physical needs like food and water. I am talking about emotional needs like support and encouragement. The thing is, people won’t know what we need until we communicate that. Most of us burn with resentment when our needs are not met, yet, we have not spoken them.
For peace of mind, communicate and say what you need. Whether or not the other person adheres, at least you’ve done your part.
2. Having hard conversations to address issues
As a formerly non-confrontational person, when I had an issue with someone, I would keep it to myself and suffer in silence. I would be angry and moody when they seemed unbothered yet they did something that hurt or angered me. As long as I failed to address the issue, I stayed in the same place. I’m sure many of us have been here. This is not good for your mental health. You lack peace, you are constantly anxious and triggered. However, choosing to be courageous and having that hard conversation to address an issue can help you free yourself from being so weighed down by your thoughts and feelings.
3. Distancing yourself from people and things that drain you
If you are typically a giver, you better have boundaries with takers, cause they don’t have any.
So, you are a generous person. Generous with your time, energy, money, and resources. It fulfills you to be this person. But, some people have recognized this, and instead of reciprocating the energy, they look only to take from you. At some point, as a generous person, resentment will begin to build on your side. You may realize that your relationships are transactional. You would come through for your people any day, any time, but if you are ever down, you are not so sure they’d do the same.
It may be time to have some boundaries. Say no sometimes, keep some distance, and see what happens. You may disappoint them, but the mental tranquility you will experience is unmatched.
4. Setting a system downtime from your devices
I think by now you know that excess consumption of social media is detrimental to our mental health, and we also know that it is here to stay. Instead of becoming a slave to it, let it be a tool. Don’t let it take over your life. It is not worth it!
Ever heard of boundaries with technology? Well, the same way you can have boundaries with people, is the same way you can have boundaries with your devices. Set a downtime. Like, ‘After 10 pm, all devices are off and I am going to bed.’ Or, ‘I will not use my phone while in bed.’
The effect that social media has on our brains, is that it gives us a dopamine high. Like, immediately you see a notification and hear that ‘ting’, your brain is filled with dopamine and it will keep on looking for it, as long as you keep feeding it.
There are healthier and more wholesome ways to get dopamine. This includes taking a walk, reading a book, or exercising.
5. Honoring your boundaries
Speaking of boundaries, a great way to keep your mental health in check is not only having boundaries but also honoring them. Learn to be a person of your word. Let yes be yes, and no be no. Know your limits and recognize when you are at capacity, so you do not stretch yourself. For example, let’s say a friend borrows you money. You may have set a boundary that you don’t lend money unless you still have enough to cushion yourself. Let’s say in this instance things are tight, but you dishonor your boundary, because you don’t want to let your friend down. You give the money, but your mind is filled with worry, about how you’re going to pay that bill, or if your friend will even return that money. Before you know it, you’re super stressed, and your mental health has taken a dip.
You could have avoided this if you honored your boundary by kindly saying no, or even recommending a loan app with fair rates to your friend.
Do you now see how honoring your boundaries can keep you mentally healthy?
6. Knowing your place or role in a context or relationship, and applying yourself accordingly
How many times have you overestimated your place in someone’s life? Like you thought y’all were close then the next thing you see, is that they had a significant event like a wedding or graduation, and you weren’t invited!
I think something that can help stay mentally healthy and not suffer due to unhealthy relationships is knowing your place in people’s lives, and acting accordingly.
If your friend didn’t invite you to their graduation or wedding, allow yourself to feel your feelings, because it does hurt. But, also use this opportunity to rearrange their place in your life. This will help you to manage your expectations thus saving you from future hurt and mental turmoil.
7. Seeing and accepting things and people as they are
This is for the people who consider themselves ‘fixers’. You like to fix everything and may even relish in the role of the one who makes things better. Usually, you’re the go-to person for solving people’s problems and giving advice. This is noble, but at times you may need to be okay with people and situations, as they are. Remember you are not in control, you can’t save everyone and not everyone sees the need for change. Rest your head and thoughts by accepting people and things as they are. It’s much better that way.
Thanks for reading this post, my hope is that it's inspired, encouraged ad even taught you a few things.
Remember to like, comment, and share it with your circles.
I'll see you on the next one.
xoxo,
Miss Kambe.
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