One of the most effective ways to improve your mental health is to find someone you can talk to.
That’s why therapy and/or counseling are highly recommended as solutions to treating mental health issues.
At times, however, we or someone we know may choose not to open up about their struggles. This post will explain some reasons why this may be the case.
1. You are not ready to
You will only talk about things once you are ready to do so. Depending on you and what you may be dealing with, this may take a short or long time. Patience, extending grace, and making space for yourself is needed. Remember this is your process, and you trying to force yourself into talking about things when you aren't ready, will create more harm than good. So, give yourself space and time, until you are ready.
2. You are still sensitive to talking about what troubles you
When you go through a traumatic or painful experience, it has the capability of changing you. You may suddenly become sensitive or hypervigilant to things that you were not towards before. This may also be a reason why you may not want to open up just yet. The occurrence is still fresh in your mind and may bring up uncomfortable emotions and sensations when trying to speak about it. Hence you may choose not to, for now.
3. You have been taught NOT to open up, so you do not know how to
You may have been brought up in an environment whereby talking about feelings was not encouraged. You may have tried to but were shut down any time you did. Also, typically men are taught to not open up about their feelings, as it is believed to not be ‘manly’ to do so, with statements like, ‘men don’t cry’.
For the record though, I believe men can and should be in touch with their emotions because they are human. And humans feel.
If you resonate with any of the examples above or know of anyone who may have had those experiences, you or the other person may be out of touch with their emotions, hence not able to articulate or express them. Don’t blame yourself though, because you weren't taught. See it now, as an opportunity to learn.
4. You fear how you will be perceived
At times, you may be embarrassed or ashamed to feel the way you may be feeling about something. This then makes you fear what other people may say or think if you opened up, hence you keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself.
I say, feel the fear and open up anyway. Not to just anyone, but someone whom you see as a safe space or better yet, a professional counselor. At least then you are guaranteed that what you share will be kept in confidence, and you will be advised from an objective standpoint. A person’s perception is theirs to have, and not for you to be burdened by.
Better to risk how you will be perceived, than the deterioration of your own mental health due to being weighed down by your feelings and thoughts.
5. You feel guilty for feeling that way
This happens a lot when you may be having really negative feelings or dark thoughts about something, to the point that you’re even afraid of yourself. This may cause feelings of guilt to arise. Like, ‘How dare I think or feel like this?’ the guilt may not necessarily be a bad thing, but a clear indicator that you probably need to open up to someone as soon as you can, so that it doesn't fester and morph into something else.
6. You are too tired to deal with your feelings at the moment
When you go through struggles in life, you will feel weighed down and exhausted. The last thing you’ll want to do is begin the process of uncovering your thoughts and feelings. It is quite exhausting to do so honestly. Therefore, until you have the energy to, focus on resting, and self-care practices like alone time, meditation, and gentle exercises to help you feel grounded and more like yourself. This will help you build up the strength and energy needed to do the work of processing your thoughts and emotions.
If you have reached the end of this post, thank you so much for reading through. Hoping it inspired you and prompted you to take a leap of faith and open up about the things that may be weighing down on your heart and mind.
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I’ll see you on the next one!
Xoxo,
BK.
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